Tuesday, December 22, 2009

New Year's Resolutions

As my 25th year draws to a close there are a few things about the way I operate that I want to work to change. They are not necessarily bad, but the other side is more appealing. And I might as well do it before I am receiving 'over the hill' birthday balloons, and still pliable.

No more people pleasing! I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I am a People Pleaser and will do things to make things easier for others but a strain on myself. Or bite off more than I can chew at the expense of my own well being. But mostly, not being honest with others or myself when it's something that might cause conflict. I hate those 'con' words: conflict, confrontation, cons in general-of the prison variety. Anyway, things are changing, now, in 2009, as I realize how much more freedom it allows me. Feels quite liberating actually. I've put it to practice a few times and the outcome is never as bad as I think it will be. And, if it is tough at first, at least I can live with myself the next few hours. It's important to institute this practice in myself, albeit late, so that I can instill the same values in any future children. I never want to be known as a pushover and high time to change now.

I will try my best to finish everything I start. I give up too easily. I heard it from my parents growing up and I hear it from Scott now. It's hard for me to understand that just because I don't get the skills/project/task in the first 10 minutes, does not mean I should give up. Which is why I don't play any instruments, fix computers, or assemble anything. This will change, as again I don't want to be a quitter.

I am going to try my hardest to implement these now, as I don't need a clean slate or day off to do it. The sooner the better, and I can feel the effects of accomplishment all the quicker.

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