Monday, October 24, 2011

A First Time for Everything: Acupuncture

The couple that experiences Eastern medicine together, stays together.

Saturday morning Scott and I went in for our first accupuncture appointment together...or so we thought. It actually turned out to be a 1.5 hour consultation complete with a dianostic analysis of our respective bodies. Turns out I am close to obese. Now while I know I can stand to lose a few pounds, I didn't think it was as serious as being close to obesity. It put a damper on my Saturday and of course made me consider eating spinach and carrot sticks morning, noon, and night. Scott on the other hand is a perfect specimen and if anything underweight, which is not surprising to anyone.

After we determined this was indeed a self-esteem ruining meeting, we made appointments for the real deal, and today I went.

I wish I could have taken photos but, I was covered in 22 needles and I didn't need the world to see my lumpy-nearly-obese-self anyways.

The experience began with 15 minutes with my "pain therapist." I think this might be a term that is lost in translation as it really felt like a deep tissue massage without the ambiance of a regular massage. Lots of kneading, reminders of tightness, relax, relax, knead more. Lights switched on. (If I do a Yelp review, I will suggest a dimmer.)

Following my mini massage with the pain therapist, we began the acupuncture. Dr. Kim put 22 needles on me while I laid on my back: one in between my eyebrows, five on my head like a stegosaurus, one behind and on each ear, one on the fleshy part of each hand, four on my abs, two above each knee, two on top of each foot below the toes, and one I cannot recall.

None of the pricking was painful except for the feet. She pulled in a heat lamp to radiate on my abs for the obesity and I was told to relax and encouraged to sleep for the next 30 minutes. I was not uncomfortable but as my legs were propped up on a triangular pillow, I had some discomfort in my ankles, and when you are fixated on a problem you can't do anything about, sleep doesn't really happen. I did sit up to at least have a visual of the experience and when I raised my arms it felt a little weird, as well as my legs from (the fat) moving around the needle.

Following my 30 minute warm up, the needles were removed and we went into the doctor's office for more "therapy." Dr. Kim speaks very good English, however I have a difficult time understanding accents, so I'm fairly sure the four Chinese seeds she pushed into my left ear and covered with a bandage are for combating headaches, tension, and my appetite. She then pricked my ear for reasons I do not know.

My homework is to push the Chinese seeds into my ear five times a day for the next three days. Some of them are pretty painful and feel like I've got a new piercing.

If Scott and I keep up the recommended plan it's going to cost us about $1200. This may be my only acupuncture experience and thus I will continue down the slippery slope of obesity and join the local Weight Watchers.


Twinkle Toes said...

every time i read the word obesity or obese I rolled on the floor laughing. YOU? Obese? PLEEEEase. I will say I have a friend who has had great results for pain management w/ acupuncture. Try a chiropractor ;)

John said...

After the treatment, if you drank a glass of water, did it leak out the 22 holes, just like in the cartoons? ;-)

Aside from that, if they think you're obese, they're a bunch of quacks.

In This Wonderful Life said...

YUMMY!!! Thank you so much for the recipes! :)