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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Adventures at the Gym

A few weeks ago, I adopted a new gym routine. I realized I was coming home fatigued and in no mood following an 8+ hour workday, to sweat to any oldies or move any muscles, in any direction. I decided to give the early bird method a whirl and have been pleasantly surprised to the ease at which I have taken to it.

The drawback besides the hour-early wake up call, is the amount of people already there. I am a curious creature, heavily set in my ways, and prefer to do my cardio routine first. When all treadmills are occupied, I swallow a large pill labeled "I-could-have-slept-in-if-I had-known-this-is-what-I-was-going-to-meet!" I know you burn the same amount of calories starting the routine with weights, or on an eliptical, but I just don't like that. I like to feel the sweat first, then move on to the pumping iron period. I feel cheated when I get up at 6 a.m. to just lift some weights. It's not worth it to me. I need to feel my heart racing! Lifting does not do that for me.

One major plus to the early bird workout is the lack of children present. I cannot understand for the life of me why people bring their kids to an apartment community gym. This is only dealt with on the weekends when I go at normal hours to whip my fatness into shape, but it's becoming somewhat regular. I get that a couple might want to work out together but its a little weird when you are on the treadmill and have a baby tied to your back sloshing around squealing. Might I make a suggestion: stagger your workouts-you are only missing each other by an hour, really. It's worth it.

Secondly, the gym is not a playground. There are no monkey bars, see saws, or swing sets. It is no excuse for the park. Today, I bit my tongue as some grandfather let his two angels under 5 years old run, fall, and get thrown off the treadmill, to their utter delight, and his turned head missed it all. As if that wasn't fun enough, turning on and off all of the televisions, meddling with the weight machine settings, and flinging pull up bars, seemed to be their idea of afternoon fun. Perhaps I am turning into a critical, narcisisstic old woman, early. But seriously, that is out of control. Plus, my Type-A personality should point out, no kids are even ALLOWED in the gym! You have to be 18 years old, GEEZ.

My final problem boils down to television etiquette. If I am coming into a gym session when all tv's are in use, and then a treadmill becomes occupied, I take over the tv and change it to any program I wish. What I do continue to respect is the volume level. One must just deal with the closed captioning until the TV Czar leaves his thrown, and the second in line can take over, and so on, and so forth. I would not come into the gym, turn channels, nor volume up and down. It is rude and quite assuming that I want to listen to Tyra Banks. For the record, I would swim that day.

When I go to the gym, I am geared up to zone out and burn some major calories, in the name of a fabulous bod. I do not go to socialize, as I know I work out best solo. I do not go to make friends, or even to converse, period. It is a time of utter self-absorption. Please respect the time of those of us who are there by keeping the kids at home, not hogging the tv or machines for that matter, and just minding your p's and q's.

thank you and happy sweating.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

Well stated my dear! And for the record, I better never hear you refer to your "fatness" again. I'll let it slide this once but never again my dear!